Sup, nerds!

Here’s what you’re getting in today’s edition:

• 💅 This is cool: The SEC takes (another) very public L

• 🔎 This seems important: Your regularly scheduled correction is here!

• 🤝 Partner: The easiest way to convert cash into crypto​

• 🔪 Let's dissect this: BTC just spiked to $8.9k (not a typo)

Terms used in this edition (click for an explanation, or ask Web(GPT)3!):
Bull Market.

💅 This is cool:

“The SEC’s Conduct Constitutes a Gross Abuse of Power“ — a US District Court Judge

In one sentence: The SEC got sanctioned by a US district court judge for a “gross abuse of power” after it misrepresented evidence in order to freeze n’ seize a defendant’s money.

“I’m not crazy. You’re crazy for thinking this is normal!”

Is this:

A) Something we yelled at our microwave’s instruction manual, after we found out there was no way to reduce the amount of beeps it makes post-heating.

(It’s 12 btw — 12 whole beeps. Once every 5 seconds for a minute straight).

OR

B) Something we yelled at our uncle Steve during family dinner, when he said the SEC “wasn’t acting with any clear bias.”

The answer is: C) Both happened.

Circling back to option B) — as of today, we now have legal precedent that can be taken to next month’s family get-together, and promptly thrown in Steve’s face.

Cause a US district court just imposed sanctions on the SEC for acting in “bad faith” in a lawsuit it brought against Debt Box.

In the matter, Judge Robert R Shelby said (quote):

Cool. Why though?

Basically, the SEC requested that the courts freeze all of Debt Box’s funds without notifying them, citing that they’d already sent $720k out of the country, which made them flight risks.

Only thing was — the SEC were telling porky pies about the transfer. The money never left the country. As a result, Judge Shelby came down hard on the Commission.

What does this mean for the SEC’s broader war with the crypto industry?

Not much. It’s just nice to win one (however big or small).

🥇 Want the news before anyone else?

🔎 This seems important:

Your Regularly Scheduled Market Correction Is Here!

In one sentence: Between (call it) Thursday night to Tuesday morning, BTC took a ~15% pre-halving slide (taking the market with it), thanks mostly to sustained inflation fears.

In the words of a YouTube thumbnail that we recently saw, but can’t remember the creator of:

“The night is dumpiest before the dawn.”

Or, if you want that in a more crypto specific framing:

We tend to see a break down in market prices in the lead up to the Bitcoin halving (which is due around April 20th of this year).

But up until the end of last week, we hadn’t really seen a solid correction.

Well. We have now.

If you’re like us, and woke up sporadically to check your Trading View app at 12am/4am/6am, between Monday night and Tuesday morning…

You would have been greeted each time by a sea of red, and mentally “pulled a Ralph” (see gif☝️).

If you’re not like us, and are instead a healthy person…

Lettuce catch you up on what you missed:

Between (call it) Thursday night to Tuesday morning, the crypto market took a slide, with BTC going from ~$73.5k to ~$62.3k (and taking the rest of the market with it).

Why? Fears that inflation isn’t lowering quickly enough → which will keep cost-of-living (and debt) high → leaving everyone with less money to invest.

(That, and the Grayscale ETF sold a bunch of BTC).

Are we through the worst of it?

No idea! But we took some solace from this video that shows the 2017 bull market saw multiple 40% corrections, while 2020 mostly saw 20% corrections.

With that information, we then gaslit ourselves into thinking:

“Maybe this time around, we’ll only see 10-15% corrections (like the one we just saw!).”

Fingers, toes, eyes: crossed.

🤝 Partner:

The Easiest Way to Convert Cash Into Crypto

We can count on one hand the amount of times we’ve converted fiat cash into crypto and thought:

“Hmmm…that was easy!”

1. The time we bought ETH via MoonPay from within our wallet.

That’s it. That’s all the times.

MoonPay offers a fast and simple way to buy and sell cryptocurrencies, allowing you to buy crypto with your credit card, bank transfer or even Apple Pay!

(They’re basically the Visa/Mastercard of crypto).

If you want a seamless, hands off fiat to crypto conversion & payment experience:

Click this link to buy crypto right away; or look for the MoonPay logo within your chosen crypto app!

🔪 Let's dissect this:

Bitcoin Just Spiked Down to $8.9k (Not a Typo)

In one sentence: Bitcoin’s price very briefly tanked to $8.9K on BitMEX, after a whale dumped 400 BTC within 2hrs on the platform.

Uhhhhhh — how the heck did this happen??

Out of thin air, Bitcoin’s price tanked to $8.9k on BitMEX. 

Here’s the how and why of it all:

At any given time, a bunch of crypto exchanges are within pennies of the same BTC price, let's say, $60k. 

The thing is: exchanges are never the exact same because the price is an average estimate of future prices based on previous, but recent, transactions on each exchange. 

Basically, the exchanges are playing a game of “let's guess the current price by looking at the very recent past.”

Well! BitMEX ended up having some wild transactions yesterday. 

Someone sold 400 BTC in a 2 hour period on the platform, messing up BitMEX’s ability to accurately “guess the current price by looking at the very recent past,” and the exchange’s BTC price briefly plummeted as a result.

Lucky for the broader crypto space, it was exclusive to BitMEX and the market only had a slight reaction before it all recovered. 

Cool, well, now ya know!

How To Buy Bitcoin on MoonPay

And if you do, use this (sponsored) link!